Not even close. My partner and I spend several hours on it if we have the time. But you seem to believe that you have to stop after the first orgasm or that a person can’t be held in an orgasm for 20-30 minutes. I’m not talking about a five minute shag and then rolling over and going to sleep.

I’m all the way crazy, for completely unrelated reasons.

Ok, oh great and wise kink witch. What am I missing?

I feel like Vienna should be twinned with Edinburgh

It’s not ignorance. I’ve done a bunch of less vanilla stuff (probably a greater variety of things than most people) It just doesn’t interest me. I find it distracting and performative.

“Oh my god I’m so hot for you!”

“Wait a minute while I fetch 25 m of rope and check which of the toys are charged. Do you remember where I put the violet wand?”

“I think it’s in the drawer with the butt plugs”

15 minutes later your all set up and about to actually begin, and your youngest child wakes up because of all the noise you made setting up the st Andrews cross and starts banging on your door. It’s the only banging that’s happening that night.

Alternatively you don’t allow a cool down time while you get ready and just start eating her like a fat kid at an all you can eat cake buffet until she is reduced to a quivering mess unable to move and you both pass out from exhaustion in the wet patch. You can also just pick up where you left off any time during the night whenever one of you regains consciousness.

Hmm, sex is supposed to be a recreational activity, not work. I’d rather skip the amateur dramatics and just engage in good ol’ fashioned oral. Always the most reliable way to make her sound like a brain damaged farm animal.

The whole power dynamic bdsm thing is rather dull as far as I’m concerned.

Upvote for sdv

Yeah, people like to shit all over British food, but the truth of the matter is that Nordic food is either just as bland as people say British food is, or it’s just plain grim.

Norwegian food

Danes eating Swedish food

You can do that. But I’m Scottish, and vegetarian haggis is just really sad.

You forget the laver bread

This is true. I’d eat beans on toast any day over fårikål.

If its slimy, you’re cooking it wrong. Heavily salt it and bake it in the oven to draw the liquid out. It should only smell like dick cheese (kukost) before cooking. Afterwards it should smell and taste like slightly caustic fish and be barely palatable if you have it with mashed potato, bacon bits, and mushy peas and wash it down with strong astringent alcoholic drink. It’s pretty rank but by no means the worst Nordic dish. A dubious honour that probably goes to Greenland’s kiviak.

The five traditional ingredients are: sheep, cabbage, salt, pepper, and fucking water.

It means something different in America.

The British one (sausage baked into Yorkshire pudding) is fantastic.

The American one (a piece of fried bread with an egg in the middle) is pretty sad.

Black Pepper is also in a few sweet dishes. It goes very nicely with strawberries and cream.

Traditional British food actually uses a lot of spices, just not usually chilli. British food is full of coriander seed, cloves, nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, allspice, aniseed, mace, rosemary, parsley, black pepper, mustard etc. They were originally used because people believed they would preserve meat and extend the shelf life. So recipes from before refrigeration use a lot of it, but also things like Christmas food and desserts use a lot (especially cinnamon, ginger, allspice, nutmeg and cloves). There’s a blend of spices sold in British shops specifically for sweet things called mixed spice similar to pumpkin spice in the states.

But even if you take spice to mean only hot capsicim Peppers, the hottest curries (phall) are a British recipe. Tabasco is one of the few non British companies to receive The Royal Warrant of Appointment (permission to use the Royal cost of arms on their products) because the Royal Family love Tabasco so much.

Also Britts drink a lot of ginger. Both alcoholic and non alcoholic ginger beer and ginger wine.

The animals are the best bit. As for spices, I add curry powder to the beans, tarragon and thyme to the mushrooms, basil and black pepper to the tomato, and then dust the entire dish with chilli flakes. Serve it with homemade Carolina reaper sauce. The Scottish version is objectively better than the English one as it includes haggis and tattie scones. You can also serve it with deep fried cigarettes and buckfast tonic wine.

7+9

I use bout 10-15 Carolina reapers for a 250 ml bottle. The other ingredients are decided based on what I fancy at the time. My current one is milder because the most aggressive thing they had at the import shop was habanero. I used a combination of stewed onion, apples and dates as the base with cider vinegar and Christmas spices. It’s kinda like hp with a bit of a kick. Pleasant but not very spicy.