Yeah, this kind of shit is part of why I feel such strong solidarity with trans women, despite being cis.

Any hole’s a goal

There are often rope workshops geared at beginners. I find these quite accessible to people who are new to this scene. The rope specific workshops I’ve seen often involve no overtime sexual stuff (aside from the kinky undertone of such an event). For example, the ones I’ve seen advertised or have attended were events with no nudity.

I liked that I could turn up and be match with someone to either tie up, or to tie me up. At more general kink events where there’s other kinds of play going on, then finding someone to do rope stuff with follows typical social script stuff. It can be daunting to want to find someone who you trust who you can explore rope stuff with in that context. At a workshop, the platonic vibe of it all means that there isn’t that kind of pressure. You don’t have to worry so much about building rapport with the person you’re tying with (beyond developing the basic communication skills involved in tying someone up/being tied up), because the event teacher(s)/supervisor(s) are there to help ensure everything stays safe (emotionally and physically).

In my area, fetlife is where stuff like this is advertised, but you would probably have good success googling something like “[your area] [rope labs/shibari workshop]”. It shouldn’t be too hard to find something. People running events like this tend to have an easier time finding venues because the events are not sexual per se. Workshops usually charge money; in my area, I’ve seen sessions costing between £5-£20. This feels very reasonable, and feeling like I’m purchasing a service (the tuition and also the safe space to participate in) helps a lot. I found the focussed context of the workshop more accessible than attending a general BDSM munch. It reminds me of how I enjoy getting to know new people through board games and similar activities — I find social stuff easier when there’s a task or activity to focus on.

I’d strongly recommend you see what’s available near you. It sounds like you’re quite intrigued about this, to the extent that it seems inevitable that you’ll end up exploring this eventually. If you agree with that assessment of things, then I’d argue that it would be wise to try out one of these events; it would be unfortunate if you end up spending a lot of time stewing in wistfulness. That’s the vibe I get from your comment — I related to the tone of it, because for a long while, I was curious about this scene, but it can feel so daunting and inaccessible to actually begin getting involved with, even if you understand that it’s quite a welcoming community. Workshops can be a great entry point that also feels lower stakes than generally getting involved with the scene

An evolutionary theory that I am quite fond of is the “gay uncle theory”. Basically it argues that because human babies require so much care compared to other animals, this certainly wouldn’t have been plausible for a monogamous couple to manage alone. Indeed, the nuclear family is a pretty new construct, and childrearing appears to have been a task shared across a community. The gay uncle theory suggests that if someone is gay and thus does not reproduce, this increases the caregiver to child ratio in that community/family. This may mean that homosexuality could confer a selective advantage at a community level, even if it makes an individual less likely to reproduce.

I find it an interesting theory because whilst it’s super speculative, there are plenty of examples where there are benefits to certain genes existing within a population, even if it reduces the relative fitness of some individuals in that community. In sub-Saharan Africa, for example, where malaria is prevalent, the gene responsible for sickle cell anemia exists at a higher frequency than in areas at less risk of malaria. This is because the sickle shaped blood cells confer some protection against malaria. Whilst having two copies of the sickle cell gene causes you to have sickle cell anemia, which can have pretty severe health effects, if you only have one copy of the gene (which we call having sickle cell trait) you’re much less affected (I know someone who only learned they had the sickle cell trait when they got into pretty high level athletics in college). For people in certain parts of the year world who have only one copy of the sickle cell gene, the increased resistance to malaria is enough of a boon to more than make up for the harm of having the sickle cell trait. If you have full blown sickle cell anemia, then that’s definitely a net negative for the individual, but at the population level, this is worth it because the population benefits from a certain level of the sickle cell gene being in circulation.

TL;DR: Population genetics can get pretty complex, and there’s a theory that gay people are actually evolutionary selected for within a community, at least to some degree.

That’s not true.

“The capital and largest city of both England and the UK is London; Edinburgh, Cardiff and Belfast are the national capitals of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Kingdom

I guess this map doesn’t count Edinburgh, Cardiff or Belfast as capital cities

When I first met some poly people at university, it blew my mind. At first, I couldn’t imagine myself in that kind of relationship, because I struggle with insecurity and expected that I would find that worsened by being polyamorous.

I came to realise that because polyamorous relationships tend to require a greater level of communication and emotional intelligence, that this was actually probably an easier dynamic for someone like me. Key to this was the understanding that if I’m feeling emotionally neglected by a partner, then that’s between them and me, and doesn’t need to involve comparisons to my partner’s other partner(s).

I ended up identifying as a relationship anarchist in the end. It feels more comfortable than either monogamy or straightforward polyamory. In practice, the only difference it makes is in how I think about myself, but that matters to me

I have recently been watching it, and I’m surprised I hadn’t heard of it sooner. I really enjoy the absurdist, sometimes juvenile humour that never feels mean spirited. When it is edgy, it doesn’t feel like it’s being edgy for edginess’ sake.

Of course I have a praise kink, I was a bright child who built my entire identity around the approval I got from others. I wasn’t ignored — far from it, but the manner of attention really did a number on me

No, no, it’s maximum because he’s the one with maximum cringe. Whenever he increases his cringe level, he’s raising the ceiling for all of us

What has she done to the trans community? I hadn’t heard of anything like this, so I’d like to read about it if possible.

There are no bad dogs, only bad dog owners. And whilst I’m sympathetic to owners of dogs with eldritch powers, I will absolutely hold them responsible if they own a dog that’s unsuited for their lifestyle and capability. If they weren’t up to the task, they should have gone for an easier to handle breed, like a border collie, or a husky.

Sliwa being tacked on like an afterthought was hilarious to me for some reason

Ah yeah, I got mixed up. Thanks for the correction

Online dating as a bi woman is grim. It’s annoying, because in certain contexts, I’d be up for casually fooling around with a couple, but when you think you’re going on a date with a woman and then her surprise boyfriend shows up, it’s gross and predatory

A term that I find useful is “platonic aesthetic attraction”.

It’s a term that I learned through the ace community when I was going through the common bisexual experience of “am I bi though, or am I just asexual?”. It turned out I was bi, but I find the split model of attraction is a useful framework.

Platonic Aesthetic attraction is when you’re able to see someone and go “now that is a beautiful man”, but not experience any attraction in the conventional sense of the word. I personally find it useful because even though I do experience sexual or romantic attraction to people of all genders, that doesn’t mean I experience that for everyone. Sometimes a beautiful person is just a beautiful person.

Edit: got mixed up, and said “Platonic attraction” when I meant “aesthetic attraction”. Thanks to @gerryflap@feddit.nl for the correction

I mean, Labour aren’t too great on trans rights either, due to capitulating to the right as centrists with no beliefs often do.

The communist study group was amazing. I didn’t meet them in my first play through, because I was too much of a noncommittal ~~centrist liberal ~~ moralist, but I made sure to go extra hard commie on my second run.

I laughed so much, because they reminded me so much of people I literally know. No-one I know directly lines up with the characters; it’s more like if we took the commie essence out of all my friends, distilled it down and then crafted two characters out of it. It feels almost cliché, but it’s not an inauthentic depiction

Part of the Millennial experience is the neverending cognitive dissonance that arises from growing up in a “you must never use your real name on the internet” culture, only to find ourselves here, where that is normalised and in some cases required.

Edit: cognitive dissonance is probably the wrong phrase. It’s jarring is what I mean

I was in the yolk