Yeah I don’t talk to that old witch anymore. I have friends who are supportive. Sometimes a little too supportive though, like telling me my voice sounds fine or passes when it clearly doesn’t pass. I’m glad they’re nice but passing or not passing isn’t about me feeling better about myself, it’s about not being clocked by bigots who might be transphobic to me or hurt me.

Oh yeah. I remember lots of stupid excuses. Like that I didn’t want to be trans because it was hard, or saying that I was a boy because I have a dick. Some of them were really stupid excuses. I once said I didn’t want to be a girl because if I was trans I couldn’t do sports. I don’t even like sports and was never good at them, that was pure cope.

My mother uses that excuse though, same excuse she uses to call me my old name, and to say that I’m a man. Horrible old witch. I know it’s an excuse because she doesn’t bother correcting herself, she keeps going and is insistent that I’m actually a man and that it can’t be changed.

I started transitioning 2 years before the pandemic, but it was still nice to be at home and not having to deal with people in person. Lots of people were and still are not very accepting of my transition.

I’m doing better now. That was before I was on HRT that I tried to do away with them myself. I’m feeling better now, less grossed out and uncomfortable because of how much they’ve shrank. I still wish they were completely gone though.

If only breaking the egg were that easy, young me was so stubborn and in denial it took going through fuck ton of pain and crippling gender dysphoria to finally make me understand and stop being stupid.

Tucking literally isn’t enough for me, I feel dysphoria because I have it, not just because other people see it. I still feel it and know its there. It feels gross, it makes me feel gross. I just wish it was gone 😭

Yes I really want it. I don’t really care about wearing these tight looking outfits. I just want to not have these things (my penis and my testicles) hanging between my legs, they’re disgusting. HRT has shrank them a lot but I would be much happier if they were completely gone and I had a vagina, or even nothing at all. I’d rather have nothing than have them. I did actually try to cut them off before but I didn’t have it in me to get little more than through the surface before backing out from the blood and pain.

I want that so badly, even though I pass well enough now, I would love to be cute like that since I’m not super feminine as I am now. If I got the money I would use it to finally get voice surgery and bottom surgery.

I’m more of a beer gal myself but I could still go for some right about now. I really need to take the edge off.

Seeing them banned can feel even more cathartic. The trolls on Lemmy.world don’t care if you downvote them, they’ll just downvote you back. Some of them probably have multiple accounts and will just downvote you twice, while upvoting themselves. On blahaj and instances like it, there won’t be games, they just get banned.

Lemmy.world is a shitty instance, filled with transphobes and trolls. Would definitely recommend moving to a different one. I hear lemmy.blahaj.zone is really nice, they ban transphobes and their apologists on sight.