How else can I tell you what kind of leather it is and infodump the complete history of the wallet in human civilization on you?

I once read this amazing short story where the human race was dying out because men had discovered a way to make their penises enormous. Like, carry-it-in-a-wheelbarrow massive.

I fully support all y’all’s gayness. Some of the other dumb shit you do…

Frank with the inside source on that brown acid

Why did you have to post this?

sigh unzips

If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention.

There are also some universal truths about human nature that still haven’t changed in thousands of years.

Everyone should read Plato’s Republic. He predicted the end of liberal democracy in a way that applies to the Weimar Republic and the Pax Americana.

“I’m straight until I’m horny, Jon.”

I’m an adult. I can have ice cream when ever the fuck I want.

But if it’s before dinner, I can’t feel good about it.

There are millions of quarters, silly. Some in video game machines, some in drains…