Cucumber cilantro hand soap?

We don’t call them inches anymore, nor they’re Tarantinos

name their whole taxonomic class of animals after glands that produce milk

Wait fuck this hurts my brain we’re in the titty class? Holy shit Jiggly jugs, batman!

Wanting to become a better listener seems like a generally empathetic thing to do.

Poop dik I guess

First time one of them said shitass my family just looked at me as I went

I call both of my siblings shitass (or poopbutt when their kids are around) because my dudes guess what they do with their asses

They left Tumblr?

I just wish I didn’t get that nice little intrusive thought telling me to look down the barrel every time I go to the range. Nah, I’ll let my friends own.

I’m just trying to figure out how my blues trio fits in because we all sang, played bass, drums, and at least one other instrument. I’m not sure who counted as what I’m that group.

As a bass player (happily spoken for, but solidarity with the homies) I wholeheartedly support this message

Just use Robert’s rules of order when you have an argument that makes everyone happier

They closed all the launch sites in Utah? They built the fuckin minuteman there

what if the skeleton has a banana?

DON’T FORGET THIS BROTHER AROOOOO

Next time I commit election fraud I’m going to release thousands upon thousands of wood beetles upon the ballot box that’ll show em

Privilege-to-pee things

My brother in christ