It’s always fair to joke about the British.

I am not a professional, but I don’t think that small vibrations could damage the mic. But those bumps and vibrations can create noises in the recording, since the condenser moves and creates a noise. Those shock mounts primary use is to minimize the noises by absorbing the vibration.

The bigger wear on the condenser is you I would say, by talking into it, dirt and humidity travels into the mic and can over time deteriorate the parts and the recording quality. But this is normal wear.