Ok so there’s a thing called Colyte, thats the brand name. It is a polyethylene glycol electrolyte juice. You can ask for it at a pharmacy, they might have a different brand. It tastes pretty good. Now it’ll get you real cleaned out, so you’ll have to keep eating like some kind of horrific human centipede. Drink lots of water, stay hydrated.
It’s marketing, it’s propaganda, it’s psyops. Influencing what posts make it to the front page, what posts stay in hot, what opinions get upvoted or downvoted just to make them look popular or unpopular. Mass reporting for posts that offend them. Having entirely fake, scripted conversations to convey points in a more trusted manner in order to influence the reader.
Remember, nobody is immune propaganda.
So uhh, step one: get cholera (it lives on shellfish, and plankton do with this what you will, lick some shells or something)
Step two: ingest cholera
Step three: try not to die
Ibuprofen + acetaminophen at the same time.
Alternate ice and heat in 15 min intervals. You can get an electric heating pad they work well. Lay on the floor to do it.
Get a firm mattress. If that’s out of your immediate price range, sleep on a folded blanket or a mat on the floor. Your shoulders might get cranky, but it will be relief on your back.
Walk.
Bend at the knees for everything.
Light stretching, nothing that puts an unsupported load on your lower back.
Ab exercises. Planking is your friend.