she/they, non-binary transfeminine individual based in Berlin

  • 0 Posts
  • 11 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: June 19th, 2023
  • Madlaine@feddit.deto196@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Truth rule
    14·
    5 months ago

    Not OP, but yeah…

    There are a few mental/neurological conditions that lead to a big adversion against ordinary recurring tasks.

    (In my case it’s PDA; but it’s something that I see across multiple neurodivergent spectrums, as well as in people with depression)

  • Madlaine@feddit.deto196@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Rule
    2·
    6 months ago

    But yeah I’m ~235lbs/106kg guy, and I don’t like how I look most days in the mirror in a boring t-shirt and shorts, let alone trying to be desirable, so I’m kinda setting myself up mentally for disappointment. We shall see.

    Sounds like me a year ago xD

    Try find something that suits your figure; fem clothes can be quite good at camouflaging and distracting from problematic areas if one gets the right stuff.

    And it drastically boosts self image when you found clothes you feel comfortable in, even if only in certain situations.

    And my personal experience in case you don’t like your face (I didn’t, but I’ve got gender-related dysphoria in that regard): these femboy-cat-face-masks; wear them if you try out or take pictures in dresses. Allows you to focus on the clothes instead your face. After you found clothes you like with that mask on, you might take a look at some basic makeup. Nothing too fancy, but a bit of foundation, powder, minimalistic eyeshadow and mascara can do wonders.

    But essentially: Try it! Do yourself a favor and try it! I wish I would have given in sooner instead of always thinking “nah, won’t suit me anyway and I will just look like a dude in a dress”. Wearing stuff like that played a huge part in realizing who I am.

    (And it gave me a reason to loose some weight. 103kg->88kg since December)

    And obviously: Should you find out in the end that fem clothes are just not your thing; that’s fine as well! But if the idea was already in your head: try it -

  • Madlaine@feddit.deto196@lemmy.blahaj.zone•Rule
    6·
    6 months ago

    Just do it.

    There are many large people that look beautiful. You have to search for the right clothes.

    I assume from your comment that you’re maybe a bit chubby; that’s no shame. Many chubby people look wonderful in fem clothes.

    You maybe should go for something more comfortable than the sexy secretary look, but (unless your suuuuper overweight) there will be something that’s suiting your figure. Just google some guides for transfeminine clothing and try some stuff. Many of us wanna wear feminine clothing while having similar issues. A love for food is not depending on the gender ;)

    Btw: My personal recommendation are long black skirts from the steampunk/goth/pseudo-victorian niches. They often have enough accessories and other highlights to distract; and they don’t look all that bad if one is a bit larger

  • Madlaine@feddit.deto196@lemmy.blahaj.zone•*Permanently Deleted*
    1·
    1 year ago

    Or getting your doctor say (tho way more nicely): “Some of your conditions may be caused by being fat. Please go to this public-healthcare-funded dietary assistant that will create an individual dietary plan for you”.

    Lost 20kg in the months following it and stayed at the lower end of the “slightly overweight” area since 2 years.

    I’m in no way a healthy person, but I would be way less healthy without public Healthcare. And probably wouldn’t be a net positive to the economy as well.

    And in an economic view: If I would not have received Healthcare when I was broke and homeless I wouldn’t have been able to pay more in taxes and back into public healthcare in the last two years than I have ever received in my life before.