Then you can call me. I’ll give you two inches.

Diggy Diggy hole

Why didn’t I think of this?

How should I know that you’re supposed to slowly pull out anal beads? I started up my girlfriend like a chain saw the other day.

It might be some weird act of masochism but I liked clippy.

That’s sad. Back to cuddling blåhaj I guess. If you ever should be around, my closet is quite spacious.

I just checked. Sadly it’s not my closet :(

smh my head

My life in a nutshell.

If eye bleach wasn’t a thing, I’m making it a thing now.

Guten Abend, du Hurensohn :)

Totally worth it

If you’re going to use the leg press just go sooner rather than later.

It’s okay to have a giant zucchini stuck in your rectum.

God damn it Tarrare

Well technically you can.