I’m not entirely sure either. I got some of it but not all of it

Oh my god… thank you so much for reminding me of this video. I haven’t seen this in like a decade.

What in the teriyaki fried Jesus did I just read?

Most days, for the past three years, I have had zero problems thinking about alcohol. And then there are moments like this in which I am ready to throw away absolutely every single thing in order to taste that and to feel the sweet relaxation and relief. Good fucking god do I need a drink. Please give me a drink.

I was sat here trying to think of a joke that was connected to an artist losing their ear before realizing that was Vincent Van Gogh. But the joke was also predicated on the fact of kind of chewing on your cat’s ear, but with your lips. Because I do that like all the time with my cat. I just nom on her ear. No teeth or anything. I’m a good bitch, but I like to chew on her ear just a little bit with my lips. She tolerates it. Not that she has much say in the matter.

Does anyone else do that or am I just insane?

I unfortunately have a lot of practice.

Another deposit for the Spank Bank.

Cursed…

Sometimes people call me famous on this website. Do you know how I know I’m not famous? Because if I was I would have your ribs extracted through your kneecaps.

New to me too. Try not sleeping for several days while running off of energy drinks that taste like pumpkin spice latte that you found next to a dumpster. It is amazing what the brain can do.

Very little fills me with more joy than making deeply religious zealots deeply religiously uncomfortable. If they’re going to be deeply religious in public I’m sorry. I don’t care what happens between a man and your woman in your religion but as long as you keep it to your fuckin self.

Chase them with dildos.

I cannot tell you the amount of daydreams I’ve had of Jordan Peterson that involved various blunt objects

Incoherent nonsense — Right

Uhhhhh…

No I do not. I said what I said

Mark me down as scared and horny

Where are the lips to kiss me tender? Where are the arms to hold me and make me feel safe? Where’s the cock as thick as a paint can to stretch my anal walls until they can sing Oh Canada?

Okie dokie.

Evidently I wasn’t clear enough with my aphid faced faucet gnawing stuff. I was overresponding for the sake of comedic effect.

But considering you asked so nicely?

Here’s the patent for an ‘Oyster Pail’. These things were designed to hold Oysters or other things by using simple blanks that could be double walled for strength and with a closing lid that could prevent containers from sloshing around. There’s actually even more history about it! You can check it out for yourself! How?

Without clarification from the designer it’s impossible to tell what the intention is

Well, you know, there happens to be this magical thing that was created a few years back. I know it hasn’t made the full rounds but you should check it out! It’s called ‘The Internet’ although I’ve heard it referred to a few different things. Turns out it has this huge repository of information that you can find! It’s really cool!

Keep any organic life upwind from you for the following 24 hours.

I guess I should have said stereotypically. Like if you look at TV/movies/video games and someone looks into a fridge there’s usually a container of chinese food. It’s fallen out of favor more recently but you’ll still see 'em kicking about. That and there’s the whole thing about it being really quickly filling but then leaving you wanting more not super long later so it ends up as leftovers for a bit.

As for staying well… not close. But I appreciate it <3 Same back to you my friend

Is it obvious?