I’m not 100% sure this is correct because I haven’t looked at the protocol or implementations in detail yet, but I can offer some educated guesses.

“Pending” implies that you’re waiting for some remote service, likely the other instance, to confirm that the subscription went through.

I can think of a few reasons why an instance may never send confirmation or why the message may not update:

• that instance defederated your instance, meaning you can see them, but they refuse to see you. This makes sense for beehaw, given that they’ve defederated several instances, including lemmy.world
• that instance hit an error
• the request or response was lost somewhere along the network
• your client, that is, the website or mobile app you’re using, has a cached state of pending and never updated it even though it received confirmation

Maybe I’ll dive into things tonight and get more info. Or i might forget. We’ll see 😅

Ohh, that’s a good idea. Maybe I’ll give that a go. Thanks!

I like this one. I don’t go quite as far as 80/20 or 90/10, but I try to progress. Like I generally avoid beef, now. Recently stopped eating squid and octopus (it’s popular where I live). Next step will be pork, then chicken, though chicken’s gonna be really tough. But yeah, still a good strategy

Confidence and/or giving no fucks goes a long way. Combine that with unabashed honesty, and you’re good. Just gotta make sure not to be a dick about things.

This ends up rubbing assholes the wrong way, but good people will be drawn to you. If you’re in a toxic environment, you’ll end up kind of ejecting yourself, but you can build a good environs around yourself