Sense of smell.

That movie was played completely straight, where there was no dummy comedic relief character. They were all scientists and it was very serious. They wanted to make their own 2001 A Space Odyssey but ended up making a high production Plan 9 From Outer Space. I remember when it came out that all of the interviews with the actors and De Palma were so serious and self-important and after the movie came out they just seemed delusional. The movie is comically bad in terms of … literally everything. Even Gary Sinese’s hair, man. Even the hair.

That movie was beyond stupid. I think I even saw it in the theatre. There’s like 3 billion base pairs in a strand of human DNA and Sliders over here uses his space skittles to form like a dozen base pairs and proclaims it’s his perfect woman’s DNA. That wouldn’t be enough for a bacterium’s ass let alone a human being, your perfect woman is severely broken dude.

Are you perhaps thinking of the Brian De Palma film Mission To Mars? Where Jerry O’Connell makes a DNA shape using skittles or some shit?

In Canada we have a candy bar called Big Turk that is produced by Nestle. It’s sold in every corner store, every gas station. It’s everywhere. I have never in my life ever seen someone purchase one, let alone eat one. No idea what it tastes like. I’ve never seen one out of the wrapper in real life, but the pictures sure do look interesting.

They went in the other direction and just made 10 a little bit louder.

A lot of my friends worked in the bar and restaurant industry over the years and I’ve spent a shit load of time in bars. I’ve had several bars that were my regular haunts for a few years at a time, and I’ve gone through a few completely different sets of, like, “bar friends” over the last 25 years. (One of the “bars” was more of a bar/coffee shop where I drank way more coffee than booze, mind you, but anyways…)

• don’t sit in the corner. The bar is where it’s at.

• talk to the bartenders a bit. Ask about the local scene. Any events going on? If it’s a sports bar, ask about any PPVs coming up if they do that sort thing. If it’s a music bar, ask if they have any good bands coming up or if there’s open mics or whatever. At a minimum that starts up a conversation for a few minutes and gets the ball rolling. Of course, if the bar is being slammed, don’t just pester the bartender like a jerk, they still have other customers and a job to do, but part of their job is getting folks to come back. Repeat business is generally better business, and if you ask about what’s coming up in the future, you’re showing interest in coming back.

• go a few times over the course of a few weeks. People will probably start to remember you.

• any activities at the bar? They have dart boards? Pool tables? Open mics? I’ve sucked at darts and pool but I still played ‘em, and even played in some dart leagues, and no one really cared that I wasn’t particularly great ‘cause neither were they — it was all just an excuse to get out of the house for a bit.

• the music scene is where I landed in the end. That’s been the last 15 years for me, really. It all just started by showing up, asking about shows, “any good bands coming up? What are the Bluesy Jazzies like? I’ve never seen them before, they worth the cover?”

• don’t limit yourself to bars. Coffee shops, table top game stores, go bowling, whatever. It’s all really just about talking to people, starting with the chitchat, making inquiries, getting involved in some activities. Eventually you’ll be socialized as fuck.