That’s what the post above mine meant by there not being a positive manliness.

Progressive manliness is described as a substraction from the old ideal. We simply have not yet formed a positive, progressive male identity.

We, as a society, are still trapped within the “feminist revolution”, there’s fighting going on and no new normal emerged.

Both sides are ripped apart by two often contradicting sets of expectations, the traditional role and the progressive role.

What makes it so hard for a lot of men is, that it’s a willful surrender of privileges. Men lost a ton of privileges over the last decades and it takes a bit of reflection to understand that these privileges were never legitimate in the first place. Instead, they frame women’s rights as weakness, because it directly contradicts their narrative of a strong man.

And that also reflects on women, to put it extremely bluntly, he’s expected to pay for dinner, but she still wants equal pay. It will take decades to sort all of that out.

Both can be true at the same time, because, you know, there are a lot of very different people.

And if you put the 200 layers of abstractions, indirections and quirks on top the transistors, it’s magic again.

…or it’s the gremlin who tries to get by, but only has like 30min a week for his project, since he has a day job and two gremlettes to feed.

See the xz debacle.

The underlying problem is, that there’s no monetary value being assigned to good software. As long as it’s good enough to sell it and buy insurance, that’s fine.