This is what I think should happen too - having multiple of the “same community” is a feature, but most of the time, I would suspect most people don’t want to create another and would rather join the existing one. If they still want to create another, they’ll obviously be able to just hit “No, create community” or whatever (for example, politics@sweden and politics@netherlands would understandably be different despite the same name).
There’s no rules for the Fediverse, all it means is that they utilise the ActivityPub protocols to be able to federate with other websites that also use it (there’s others, but basically irrelevant now).
Mastodon requires OAuth2 for apps to get access to your account because it was designed that way, and Lemmy wasn’t, it’s as simple as that. Any platform can be part of the Fediverse (including Reddit, Twitter, Facebook etc if they really wanted to), which also means that platforms can also do anything they want.