• 2 Posts
  • 32 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 11th, 2023

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  • Hmm, I think I experience something like euphoria (maybe excitement?) when I dress in feminine clothes or take on feminine roles.

    When I was a child, I was very cross with the whole concept of gender. I thought for a long time that intersex people were more common (I assumed genitals were more random at a young age); the fact I was sort of stuck with the “boys” really annoyed me. I wanted to do everything with everyone, and I really despised being forced into a social box. I would dream 33/33/33 as a girl/boy/other, and often characters would have mixtures of primary and secondary sexual characteristics.

    I think I’m sort of non gendered, I suppose. In my mid 20s I started meeting lots of trans musicians, and I really dug their music / art. I felt like it really spoke to me, but what’s odd is I didn’t feel like I wanted to transition. I just wanted gender not to exist.

    I’m supportive, of course, of my friends transitioning. For me, I’m not sure why I want to press the button. I think it’s a desire to be everything, or to have those experiences I missed out of growing up.

    It’s all at odds with my sexuality, which developed to be pretty conventional, but I think that’s just because it’s convenient and easily reenforced. If I pressed myself, I could probably be pansexual. However, I have a partner now who’s great, so I’m not really interested in experimenting.

    I know I conflate gender and sex at some points here. Sorry for the ramble.

    Thank you for being kind 😊😊😊😊



  • This is a really excellent pastebin! I sort of posted my comment facetiously (I present as cis, but I identify as nonbinary.)

    But, it’s not totally untrue. I’ve been asked by trans friends, “when are you going to come out?” too many times not to wonder if I am somehow deep, deep in the closet.

    If I could, I would be both, and change appearance at will. I know some of this is that non binary part of me, and some of this is simply that I find women attractive. I’m the sort of obsessive person who wants to become whatever I find interesting. It’s rooted somewhat in objectivication, not so much personal validation.

    I don’t really feel dysphoric with my body, but I’d love that button.

    So I’ll continue to lurk, and maybe one day I’ll realize I was in the closet all along!








  • I did not expect to read something so heavy. Maybe add a trigger warning? I’m okay, but damn is this sad.

    Never kill yourself, but especially never kill yourself before confessing your pain. It’s incredible, how different people’s perceptions can be. You might just save your own life, and that of your loved ones too.