I know it’s a gag post, but I always like to see a reference to After Man or Man After Man.

As a slow cyclist, I’d totally wear this.

Obligatory NYT headline: “Alcohol poisoning used to be a time honoured pasttime in this small town, but Millennial woke mob took it all away.”

Ah, you don’t own a tortoise, do you?

My a dad bought mine when I was eight. It’s on track to live at least as long as my grandchildren.