dear creator(s)

please let the citizens of the USA win a crippling class action lawsuit against Amazon it would be so fucking funny

I ask this in the name of whichever holy figure is the correct one

amen/inshallah/namaste etc.

(I’m an atheist, but I guess it can’t hurt to try)

At that point, instead of providing ID, you provide your desired expletives

like what are they gonna do

they claim to not know who you are

half assed grilled cheese sandwiches

I hate that we live in a time period where anti-gay politicians are around AND get votes

We’re still no better than back when we discriminated against left handed people

Like, are we always going to be fucking stupid? In 500 years are they going to be voting on a furry segregation bill while a meteor the size of Estonia is barrelling towards earth?

This still assumes access to the fuel tank

We can work backwards and double down on this problem by making sure it remains inaccessible for as long as possible.

Ideally, you would want to weld the fuel hole shut, but that may be impractical. Depositing a cartoonish amount of very strong glue into the fuel cap cover can be a more realistic compromise.

Attempts to regain access may leave the fuel tank vulnerable where it can then be double tapped with bleach.

or just use a flathead screwdriver idk im high

$ git piss

this video

https://youtu.be/gRgIpMEcJdc

Finally

Something new to mumble when my boss schedules a 9am meeting at 8:99

/0

edit: what was that meant to do

Please don’t floor it when you see my indicator light telling you that I would like to merge

My armchair psychology theory is that it is the same brain mechanism why people smoke cigarettes.

We know smoking cigarettes is bad. Cigarette smokers know smoking cigarettes is bad, but they can’t stop.

Obviously addiction plays a part, but they won’t switch to nicotine gum, nor zyns/snus nor even vapes

I may have fallen out of touch, but I don’t think so.

The last sturgeon meme I saw was was Charlie Wonka asserting that he was a sturgeon

Must have been two years ago almost

I’m going to suppress my curiosity and not look into whatever you’re referencing.

I assume it’s like those badgers or lemurs or something 1998 honda civets in Southeast Asia (I think) that are caged, fed and shit out those special coffee beans that tourists just fucking love.

I hope that was an anti-depressant induced vivid dream memory and not a real memory of something that actually happens.

A wise friend once said, “you should wipe your ass before you clean your home” he meant it literally, but I like the phrasing.

Get involved in local politics. Do you know the name of your Town’s mayor? I didn’t. Fucking former prison warden. I don’t recall voting for him.

I fucking knew Ive been spotting more of those fuckers who don’t show up when you’re getting mugged

I think it’s a joke

The setup makes us assume no nudes are being exchanged.

We expect that the transphobe is warning the writer that one of the people receiving nudes is trans. We then expect the reveal to be that the write is trans or something along those lines. It was difficult for me to follow too.

The punchline is that nudes were indeed being exchanged. The transphobe was just a subversion.

October 19th got 33 hours in it, so remember to make use of that

Snort 50-60 grams of creatine

Eat so much protein that it changes your gut bacteria and brain chemistry

Lift weights until you feel nothing but fiery pain in your muscles.

Do this daily and you won’t have any issues with carrying anything that was designed to be carried.

did they die

1. doing a handstand

2. being good enough at archery to draw a crowd

3. performing archery with feet

Like, I’ll never be able to do one of those things, let alone all three simultaneously.

This doesn’t look AI generated.

I’m in awe. This must have taken hundreds, if not thousands of hours of training and dedication.

Anyone been to Kyrgyzstan? All I know is that they have a fucking dope flag 🇰🇬

never trust a fart