Here’s a fun truth women don’t really about often enough; many women grow steel wool. And those of us who didn’t start growing it when young? Most of them will grow it.
I consider myself extremely lucky in this department and I’m stopping to pluck whiskers off my chin and neck literally all day. And not one at a time, either! And when I say “whiskers” I mean I’m pretty sure they can be sharpened and used to cut diamonds! Please be aware I’ve met seven or so women in my life with PCOS. All of whom cried countless tears over how “masculine” they were because they could shave in the morning and have a five o’clock shadow.
This isn’t to invalidate your struggle. It’s to validate it with the secret knowledge that fighting these things is something every single woman either does constantly (and something like 99% of us do, by the way) or she’s “brave” and gets stigmatized. See also; I had less than an eighth of an inch of hair in my pits! And it’s being pointed out and shamed!
Is it harder for someone transitioning? Sure. But I think a big part of why is because of the bullshit that is having to take your rightful place among womankind, which doesn’t mean that any of these stop being a fight. In some ways, they will always be more of one. Because all women are forced to have this fight. It’s what our culture and society have given to us.
In fact, I think that’s why so many ciswomen support the AFAB-only spaces idea. People are inherently self-centered, and when a trans woman says they don’t feel validated as a woman because, say, facial hair… all the ciswomen reading that see is an accusation. This trans woman believes she’s not woman enough because of her facial hair… and that secret voice in a ciswoman’s head says, “And if that makes her less of a woman, what does that mean about you?”
I know I’m inviting a lot of hate and accusations of transphobia, but as I like to say, I owe the world my honesty.
You’re absolutely allowed to scream.
Here’s a fun truth women don’t really about often enough; many women grow steel wool. And those of us who didn’t start growing it when young? Most of them will grow it.
I consider myself extremely lucky in this department and I’m stopping to pluck whiskers off my chin and neck literally all day. And not one at a time, either! And when I say “whiskers” I mean I’m pretty sure they can be sharpened and used to cut diamonds! Please be aware I’ve met seven or so women in my life with PCOS. All of whom cried countless tears over how “masculine” they were because they could shave in the morning and have a five o’clock shadow.
This isn’t to invalidate your struggle. It’s to validate it with the secret knowledge that fighting these things is something every single woman either does constantly (and something like 99% of us do, by the way) or she’s “brave” and gets stigmatized. See also; I had less than an eighth of an inch of hair in my pits! And it’s being pointed out and shamed!
Is it harder for someone transitioning? Sure. But I think a big part of why is because of the bullshit that is having to take your rightful place among womankind, which doesn’t mean that any of these stop being a fight. In some ways, they will always be more of one. Because all women are forced to have this fight. It’s what our culture and society have given to us.
In fact, I think that’s why so many ciswomen support the AFAB-only spaces idea. People are inherently self-centered, and when a trans woman says they don’t feel validated as a woman because, say, facial hair… all the ciswomen reading that see is an accusation. This trans woman believes she’s not woman enough because of her facial hair… and that secret voice in a ciswoman’s head says, “And if that makes her less of a woman, what does that mean about you?”
I know I’m inviting a lot of hate and accusations of transphobia, but as I like to say, I owe the world my honesty.