Update: Thanks to a few of y’all who got me to look at things differently I think there was a miscommunication. I called my mom, and sorta cleared things up, they said they thought that my message out to them was saying I was planning on celebrating trans day of visibility, and not just mentioning it off hand after accepting the invite. I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say I am not fully convinced but I love them enough to forgive. Things have been rocky with them, my dad is teetering on the edge of ultra-conservative and still misgenders and dead-names me. In my mind there was a very real possibility my dad told my mom to dis-invite us after knowing it was a trans day.
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Kinda posting to just vent, family instantly cancelled when I just mentioned it was a trans awareness day.
Crazy thing is they know me, they know we’re not religious, they know that all we’d like to do is just see family (most importantly the two doggos.) And now I’m not going to be getting to do that and I just feel pretty hurt after this. I’ve sent some messages back and forth and they’ve re-invited us, but without a clear explanation or sincere apology, my partner doesn’t feel comfortable around them now. I agree with her, so we won’t be going.
This is the first overtly discriminatory thing I have experienced from them, and it is just so strange this is what hill they decided to claim.
I hate being a social war politic pawn, any other situation, birthday falling on the same day, solar event, or an “acceptable” awareness day, would have been met with open arms. They’ve just treated us as degenerates.
I wasn’t expecting or wanting anything, other than perhaps a minor acknowledgement, just getting cancelled on is bizarre and I can only see it as hateful or at least extremely overly defensive over my perceived motives?
Well idk after this I feel like on march 31st it would have been really fun if I spent the day misgendering them so they could experience a taste of some of the experiences I have. But I’m still just hurt, I would have loved to get a hug from my mom and sis and pet the dogs.
Hopefully this follows the rule and venting is ok, this is my first post here and I would have rather it be something more lighthearted but I just want support and validation after this.
This is probably off the mark and i dont have any context, but on the first read it seemed to me that they thought you might have your own celebrations planned and didnt want to interfere.
On second read its weird because you agreed to their party while also just mentioning that fact on the side.
Yeah, there’s either context missing or a miscommunication.
all we’d like to do is just see family
Then do not bring other things up? Focus on that?
Well it is called the trans day of ignoring trans people after all, oh wait, it’s the trans day of visibility. I don’t think just mentioning it’s an awareness day is that big of a deal, would it also be a bad thing if a solar eclipse or something was happening on that day and I mentioned that? Unless there was a misunderstanding between us, the only possible explanation is social war bull.
Family involves interpersonal relationships, conversations, and discussions of importance to each other. You are missing the point of family if you think I have to put up and shut up. Chosen families exist because of the fact there are families where shutting up is the rule.
