I guess I should also mention that I am american. And yes the suburbs aren’t great for social interaction, the same goes for cities, though. If you like to drink, you can get some social interaction in a bar, and suburbs have bars, of course cities have more.
But since you mentioned NTs not wanting NDs to be themselves, who cares. Do you really want to be with someone you need to mask around 24/7? What if I told you that I met my wife, married her and then years later we both learn we are autistic. She having been diagnosed, me only speculating because of my ADHD, the comorbidity with Autism and some other clues about me that suggest I might be somewhere on the spectrum.
I never asked anyone who I dated if they were Autistic or not, but thinking back on it there were people who weren’t good fits. One person I can remember broke up with me because I would forget often and she had a nearly photographic memory. My wife and I went to counseling to better understand my ADHD as it seemed to her (reasonably) that I was lying to her.
Moral of the story is you can’t even begin to start finding someone for you until you are your whole, unmasked self. Keep in mind here you still have to be decent. If your stimming is actually inappropriate (e.g. public masturbation) then you will have to keep it legal at a minimum. I hate that I even feel the need to mention that, but I have seen some shit excuses online from people trying to excuse abusive behavior because that person is autistic. These people are usually just trying to be shitty under the guise of having a “a disorder” where they can’t help themselves.
If you have ADHD, my guess is you might have a few hobbies or interests. Do you, maybe in front of others, and just be your ND self. Some people will hate it and others will want to know more about you. People tend to gravite towards people who are “confident” which in this context I mean are confident doing their own thing, despite what anyone else mighr expect. You owe the world nothing.
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I guess I should also mention that I am american. And yes the suburbs aren’t great for social interaction, the same goes for cities, though. If you like to drink, you can get some social interaction in a bar, and suburbs have bars, of course cities have more.
But since you mentioned NTs not wanting NDs to be themselves, who cares. Do you really want to be with someone you need to mask around 24/7? What if I told you that I met my wife, married her and then years later we both learn we are autistic. She having been diagnosed, me only speculating because of my ADHD, the comorbidity with Autism and some other clues about me that suggest I might be somewhere on the spectrum.
I never asked anyone who I dated if they were Autistic or not, but thinking back on it there were people who weren’t good fits. One person I can remember broke up with me because I would forget often and she had a nearly photographic memory. My wife and I went to counseling to better understand my ADHD as it seemed to her (reasonably) that I was lying to her.
Moral of the story is you can’t even begin to start finding someone for you until you are your whole, unmasked self. Keep in mind here you still have to be decent. If your stimming is actually inappropriate (e.g. public masturbation) then you will have to keep it legal at a minimum. I hate that I even feel the need to mention that, but I have seen some shit excuses online from people trying to excuse abusive behavior because that person is autistic. These people are usually just trying to be shitty under the guise of having a “a disorder” where they can’t help themselves.
If you have ADHD, my guess is you might have a few hobbies or interests. Do you, maybe in front of others, and just be your ND self. Some people will hate it and others will want to know more about you. People tend to gravite towards people who are “confident” which in this context I mean are confident doing their own thing, despite what anyone else mighr expect. You owe the world nothing.