No, you need to conform to the majority, differences only cause unpredictability and thus unsafetyness.

This is sarcasm, but it’s what many people actually think.

In case of OP, it’s self-loathing

Are you sure men are not subjected to something similar? Granted, no random women came to me on the street, but I received all kinds of weird “advice” by distantly acquainted women as a young man, which in all honesty also felt like “pressuring me to conform to female desire”

Rin grew on me in my old days.

I’m not sure how to argue with this except with “I have done this so many times and never received another answer”. I had no friends.

No, actually, the answer will still be the “yes”. However, what happens after is by no means guaranteed and I’ll make no comments on.

I wonder why no one suggested yet to just go to a group that looks cool and say “hey, I’ve come here alone and want to meet people, would you mind if I join you?” and the answer will almost always be a resounding “yes” and you will be adopted.

Idk, maybe being ready to burn books that go against your ideology registers different for other people, but for me it’s pretty far on the “bad” scale.

I don’t really have a problem with the being pressured into something, but the exact topic talked about here seems pretty extreme. Of course I don’t expect anyone to be a paragon of virtue, but I just wanted to say that someone that burns books would not be something I’d like to associate with, and I expected that that sentiment was pretty universal

I mean, for them, lying would actually be better, if they don’t understand they have a problem and are trying to fix it. Obviously for literally everyone else it would be better if they were honest.

Because if they don’t understand that it’s a problem and they’re trying to fix it, then by being honest they would simply be advertising that they’re a shitty person. Shitty people advertising that they’re shitty don’t get very far, they have to be dishonest about their shittyness for anyone to associate with them.

And believe me, there are a lot of shitty people that are reaaaally good at lying, most often because they are able to successfully deceive themselves and thus actually believe what they’re lying about. I mean how often have you heard that someone “wants to change” but doesn’t actually do anything about it? That is lying.

The only real solution is to not be shitty anymore, which is why I said, when someone understands what they’re doing is a problem and tries to fix it, then it’s completely fine again.

Hypothetical scenarios are still fun to think and talk about.

The problem is that the truth is pretty damning imo, like if they’re able to participate in actual book burning they don’t believe in and basically burn $300, I wonder what other dishonest thing they would do just to be liked. Not really something you want to be around.

I’d only be fine if they honestly explained that they knew it is a problem and they’re trying to fix it.

I mean there’s no way to “salvage” it, because buying $300 worth of books for intolerant book burning you don’t really believe in does reveal you to actually have no principles and to want do a lot just to be liked.

The best thing to say is to explain exactly that and genuinely express that you understand it is a problem and you’re working on it, which of course anon couldn’t because there’s no indication of this level of self-awareness.

But if they would, they might still be shunned, but it is very unlikely imo. Good people understand trauma and appreciate trying to work through it.

idk which game you are playing, but in dota, really no one is a “healer”, except maybe Io. Even stuff like Dazzle/Chen/Treant who actually have a lot of heal, it’s not the main thing they’re about.

My main role is support and I’ve only very rarely got the behavior you’re talking about. I even often get recognized after the game for clutch plays. I don’t think playing support in dota is tough nor ungrateful.

But also I’m playing on EU on pretty low to average MMR, idk how it is on other regions/skill levels.

I mean I can imagine the dating prospects are really terrible in the countryside, noone talked about that yet.