Yeah, but what do I do to get that little rush of self-satisfaction from down voting a comment I disagree with? /s

In all seriousness, it may require a little more diligence from community mods to police comments which violate beehaw community standards since they won’t fall to the bottom or be hidden as fast.

On hot summer nights on Brazil it was routinely 27°C plus. No AC, nary a breeze. I learned to sleep with no covers and a fan pointed directly at me.

Big life changes helped. I moved, changed jobs. I met my wife through the internet. I took the time to make a serious, though out profile on a paid site (best $30 I ever spent). No tinder, no superficiality, not a hookup person. I didn’t have a high response rate from messages I sent out, but I let that roll off and kept at it and was patient.

I’m not a person generally prone to depression or deep emotion, so it eventually passed. I didn’t go to a therapist, but my brother swears by it and says it’s useful for everyone.

Maybe not hidden, but xkcd.com

Hey man, it sounds like you still may be depressed. From one internet stranger to another, I want to tell you that you have value. From your post I can infer that you’re an eloquent writer, that you consider the feelings of others, and that you appear to treat other with kindness. We need more people in the world like that. Please, seek out a mental health professional if you feel depressed or suicidal.

I was depressed for while in my 20s. I was stuck in a job I hated, living 1000s of miles from my family, lonely, and zero prospects for a relationship. I spent all my free time alone and distracting myself from my depression with video games. My worldview was devastated as I had been learning that I was raised in a cult. I was unnecessarily carrying shame from my childhood for normal human behavior. Also, I was still a virgin* until 30. (*Now I think the term “virgin” is a weird harmful patriarchy concept. A person’s value is not indicated by whether they have had sex or not.)

Although you’re a bit older now than I was at the time, we are about the same age now. We are not too old for happiness. Things can and will get better. The night after I married my wife (mid 30s), I broke down sobbing because until that moment I wasn’t sure anybody would fully accept me as I was. But she does, faults and all, and goddammit I love her for it.

Tell us your story. Why do you think you haven’t ever been in a serious relationship?