I used to think I got all the benefits without any of the drawbacks but eventually I found out I just got really good at masking all the drawbacks, even though it still tires me out.
(not saying it’s your case too)
Not the same person, but my experience has been that it’s not some unique thing to autistic people, it’s basically just the same thing anyone would do in a different culture.
Just stuff like “urgh this is so boring and uncomfortable, but i can’t just walk out…” or “i should make sure to smile now so they know i’m happy”.
In the moment it doesn’t feel like a huge deal most of the time, but when you do it constantly you end up spending so much mental energy on it that you get exhausted, at which point i need to immerse myself in stuff like sitting at the computer or going for a hike, where there’s no need to mask and i can get the mental stimulation that i need.
I used to think I got all the benefits without any of the drawbacks but eventually I found out I just got really good at masking all the drawbacks, even though it still tires me out.
(not saying it’s your case too)
What is your experience with masking?
Not the same person, but my experience has been that it’s not some unique thing to autistic people, it’s basically just the same thing anyone would do in a different culture.
Just stuff like “urgh this is so boring and uncomfortable, but i can’t just walk out…” or “i should make sure to smile now so they know i’m happy”.
In the moment it doesn’t feel like a huge deal most of the time, but when you do it constantly you end up spending so much mental energy on it that you get exhausted, at which point i need to immerse myself in stuff like sitting at the computer or going for a hike, where there’s no need to mask and i can get the mental stimulation that i need.