I can’t speak for other trans people, but I can tell you what NOT to do, from my personal experience with my bf (cis man).
“You’re lucky, you have everything you need including all the medical care and it doesn’t break the bank. Just two hours from here, there are people, children, actively being bombed while they do their best to stay alive. Think about how they must feel…”
When I’m having a dysphoric episode and I decide to tell you, it means I trust you enough to tell you. When you start comparing my own difficulties to other people, saying they have it worse, not only does that hurt a great deal, it also makes me trust you less and makes me rethink opening up to you in the future.
I know you probably have enough common sense and most importantly, empathy, to not do this…my bf didn’t. And now we just don’t talk when I’m really dysphoric.
Sorry for the wall of text, but I felt like this needed to be said.
that’s awful. I’m sorry this happened to you. not to see this in a gendered light unnecessarily, but it also feels like such a man-thing to say. i sure know I’ve caught myself saying similar stuff in the past because I was looking at the problem at hand from too much of an analytical pov instead of just listening and being emotionally supportive instead. i hope it’s gotten somewhat better for you two since then
I can’t speak for other trans people, but I can tell you what NOT to do, from my personal experience with my bf (cis man).
“You’re lucky, you have everything you need including all the medical care and it doesn’t break the bank. Just two hours from here, there are people, children, actively being bombed while they do their best to stay alive. Think about how they must feel…”
When I’m having a dysphoric episode and I decide to tell you, it means I trust you enough to tell you. When you start comparing my own difficulties to other people, saying they have it worse, not only does that hurt a great deal, it also makes me trust you less and makes me rethink opening up to you in the future.
I know you probably have enough common sense and most importantly, empathy, to not do this…my bf didn’t. And now we just don’t talk when I’m really dysphoric.
Sorry for the wall of text, but I felt like this needed to be said.
that’s awful. I’m sorry this happened to you. not to see this in a gendered light unnecessarily, but it also feels like such a man-thing to say. i sure know I’ve caught myself saying similar stuff in the past because I was looking at the problem at hand from too much of an analytical pov instead of just listening and being emotionally supportive instead. i hope it’s gotten somewhat better for you two since then