• green_copper@kbin.earth
    14·
    8 hours ago

    But what is the alternative, huh? Going outside and approaching someone (in a non-harassing way)? That would be madness.

    • TwistedTurtle@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      6·
      4 hours ago

      To be fair “non-harassing way” is a bit subjective. I’ve seen dudes have success with methods that I would consider “harassing”. I’ve also seen guys condemned as creeps for approaching women at what I’d consider a reasonable time & place.

      And the loudest most unreasonable people on both sides dominate the narrative online, which makes the whole topic seem more fraught to young guys than it really is in real life.

      The truth is one person’s “playful teasing” is another person’s “harassment”. You have to develop your sense of empathy and feel it out on a case by case basis. Pretending this black and white doesn’t help anybody.

      • green_copper@kbin.earth
        4·
        3 hours ago

        To be fair “non-harassing way” is a bit subjective. I’ve seen dudes have success with methods that I would consider “harassing”. I’ve also seen guys condemned as creeps for approaching women at what I’d consider a reasonable time & place.

        Yep; and this is a big problem of mine. As I’m quite pessimistic my default assumption is that a simple greeting is likely to result in a negative reaction. A similar problem is approaching individuals / groups (for whatever reason) in general: are they free to talk to or is that a closed group who would feel bothered? Hard to see from the outside.

        You have to develop your sense of empathy and feel it out on a case by case basis. Pretending this black and white doesn’t help anybody.

        I agree. And as long as a no is respected promptly, no harm should be done by trying. But tell this my anxiety…

    • mctoasterson@reddthat.com
      1·
      3 hours ago

      Go to the hardware store and pick out light bulbs. It’s annoying because there are so many different kinds. You’ll end up standing there and talking to several people over a 15 minute period, commiserating over lightbulbs mostly. Some of them will be attractive women. There’s your jumping off point.

      • rumschlumpel@feddit.org
        2·
        2 hours ago

        Can’t confirm, last time I picked out lightbulbs I dawdled for quite a long time and didn’t talk with anyone.

        • green_copper@kbin.earth
          2·
          40 minutes ago

          The probability of success of that method is directly proportional of the average talkativeness of the local culture. If you are somewhere where everyone is commonly minding their own business, then yea, good luck :/

  • rumschlumpel@feddit.org
    8·
    8 hours ago

    I would be suspicious as hell if some manic pixie dream girl showed up in my life. It would probably turn into a “Welcome to the NHK”-style story anyway, which is kinda fucked up especially the novel (which is the source material) and manga.