You have two horses inside you? Be careful. Mr Hands died that way.

I once had a great conversation with a pair of women with lesbian flags. Saying goodbye, I told them to beware of the evil and intimidating horse, not realizing it might sound threatening rather than a “you’re an awesome lesbian couple” compliment to people not terminally online. I think they imagined it was one of these.

You reckon mediveal knights brushed their horses’ teeth the way we vacuum our cars?

Dental hygiene easily makes that expensive animal last years longer, after all.