😬
That’s like…a normal thing, right? Right?? Cause you can see if you made a mistake, if you actually said what you wanted to say and not some gibberish instead…right?? I’m normal, aren’t I???
TMI, trauma tangent
I have…bad thoughts. Sometimes. Well, pretty often. They’re the kind of thoughts that people who went through horrible things sometimes have. Thoughts that…are supposed to make them “feel in control” of what’s happened to them, if I understand it correctly.
But…I don’t remember anything. I don’t think I have any trauma. As hard as I try to search my memory, nothing comes up. Nothing like that, nothing traumatizing. Nothing “bad”. And that’s why it doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t know why I’m like this.
I mean the only thing I remember is my step-dad very briefly groping my ass when we were getting off the subway when I was younger, but that’s it. And I don’t even feel any trauma from that. Nothing bad happened to me. And still they won’t stop…
I should get a therapist…
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TIL
Used to record every phone call with my parents so I could play back their own words when they said they didn’t say something, and my words when they said I said something I didn’t.
I should have done that with my mom honestly. It would have saved me so much pain and tears and trauma. Oh well, too late now :P
Not just trauma control, but overall a great way to carefully review your thoughts, have editors review it, proofread, improve it, etc…
I fell in the dark tetrad category of upbringing, so me an my siblings learned to control information pretty quick. DNA donors always ask “why won’t my kids call/visit/send letters” etc., without consulting a family therapist why we are withdrawn/estranged. Sooo many publications, so many videos. Nope, rebound to the same old Machiavellian DARVO tactics. Now my 🥚🧬 “wants to know how I am doing.” I told 🥚🧬 how 🥚🧬 will do so, & at my leisure.
Siblings trust each other4life though. Did I ever mention one of my sibs is still wanted by IA? E’ll never be able to repay me for that😤
re: TMI, trauma tangent
I should get a therapist
If you can afford it, always. No doubt’it
hugsie for everyone who feels like want one now.
Awww, girlie! ❤️
🫂
Thx, things happens all the time.
And text lets people compose their thoughts with care.
It’s really normal. I had to switch to text only with my ex-husband for these exact reasons. The gaslighting was intense and it can be so hard to get a sense of reality within a relationship like that.
It was lovely to be able to go in and delete some of the screenshots recently though. It’s been long enough that I felt safe to let it go <3
Therapy helps! I’d strongly encourage exploring some options. It’s not a bullet-proof solution, but therapy can really, really help.
I’m glad it works for you, girlie 💜️
Works for me super well.And therapy…yeah. I desperately need it. I have…actual problems. I should try to get better…
Take care girl ❤️
your trauma tangent sounds a bit like cptsd, i am not a psychologist, but that’s something i carry around.
there is no shame in going to therapy, it does not mean one is broken, it only means that one wants to get better.
Seconding this. When the trauma/bad experiences are so never ending, subtle, and latent it’s hard to pinpoint it to exact moments. This includes anything from being treated poorly by family/friends/various societal structures to other causes of chronic stress (illnesses, dysphoria, etc.)
It’s also a compounding upset because you can’t name specific events so you feel like you’re overreacting, but you’re not. Your experiences are valid, OP. Offering internet hugs if you want them 🫂
