• Shou@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    There is a difference between a guy staring into the void, and an older guy checking you out. I’ve experienced both and I don’t understand how people manage to confuse the two.

    • Yerbouti@lemmy.ml
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      5 months ago

      One day, about 10 years ago, a guy pull out a knife to fight me in a subway station because he thought I was staring at him. Also got some nasty comments from women who thought I was looking at them when I didn’t even notice their presence. Now I try to look at the floor in public in case I get lost in my mind.

    • Sombyr@lemmy.zip
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      5 months ago

      It is in fact really easy to tell the difference, you just hear more about the times people make the mistake because it’s not noteworthy when somebody goes “that guy’s just staring off into space” and is right. You also likely have a bigger emotional reaction, assuming you’re a guy, to a woman mistakenly thinking a guy is staring at her and being wrong than you do the knowledge that women get stared at a lot, so it makes the first seem like it’s happening more often.
      I’ve lived on both sides (trans) and can tell you I didn’t realize it was this common to get really obviously stared at by older men. And the older they are the more likely they are to do it, which is lucky, because I’m much less afraid of a 70 year old man doing anything to me than a 20-40 year old. I find the only thing I can do in that situation is to avoid looking them directly in the eyes, because they take that as a sign to approach.

      • Shou@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        Am a woman. And sorry to hear about your bad experiences. Guess it comes with the territory huh? Older men sure know how to be creeps. And older women too. Cougars are predators after all.

  • Dra@lemmy.zip
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    5 months ago

    The narcissism on so many levels is such an adorable aspect of this generation

  • u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org)@lemmy.sdf.org
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    5 months ago

    Half the time I have no idea what I am staring at. It’s like having closed eyes, but they’re open. It’s my autopilot staring, not me.

    On a side note, that lip piercing (just like any other piercing in mouth) may cause tooth damage and/or gum recession over time. It’s a bad idea.

    • thatsTheCatch@lemmy.nz
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      5 months ago

      I think she’s trying to put them off to get them to stop staring. So the opposite of flirting. But it’s not super clear

  • livus@kbin.social
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    5 months ago

    I remember being young and thinking middle-aged people are staring at me because they want me /they disapprove/whatever.

    Now I’m middle aged myself, I know the staring is way more likely to either be something along the lines of “ah that kid is so 90s, I never had that green colour but blue Fudge used to wash out to green like that…”

    Or “have we run out of natural yoghurt, we bought that 500ml pottle last week but we had curry twice, maybe I should get some more…”

    • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Or “have we run out of natural yoghurt, we bought that 500ml pottle last week but we had curry twice, maybe I should get some more…”

      This is me. I have to really watch where I’m zoning out because I have absolutely been called out for staring when my brain was miles away.

    • macrocarpa@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      “OK so she must’ve bleached the full head then done the green side first, then the black side. Man her scalp must be itchy as fuck. What did I used to use to stop the burn? Coconut oil? Yeah that’s right. Smelt like Malibu for a week or so, and had to throw out that set of pillow cases. Man that sucks, I loved those pillow cases, perfect for winter. I wonder if you can still get them?”

  • Godnroc@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I’m so confused! All of the comments seem to understand, but I’ve got NOTHING. Is she doing something? I just see a smile!

    • Vespair@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      She’s trying to do ominous wide-eyes, like a manic character from a cartoon or something, the idea being that she would “scare away” the older gentleman with her “unhinged” look.

      Of course to anyone who has lived even a week in the real world, instead it just looks like somebody trying to looking intimidating and failing

  • Yeah, if I’m staring at you, it means a) I’m thinking about what I’m cooking at home, or balancing HOR production with HOR-to-fuel conversion in Satisfactory and b) my eyes are so bad (I haven’t had prescription glasses for years now) that you’re a blur of colors.

    That said, I wonder if she likes board games.

    • blindsight@beehaw.org
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      5 months ago

      “She’s asking to be objectified.”

      No, she’s not. And this sexist argument needs to stop.

      • 5in1k@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        Sexist to notice someone with bright unnatural hair and heavy near clown makeup, sure. She’s keeping such a low profile, I can’t believe she would be looked at.

        • Fenrisulfir@lemmy.ca
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          5 months ago

          I agree it’s attention getting but that’s nowhere near the same as “asking to be objectified.” That’s fucked you think they’re the same