My grandma would send out a letter to all her children every year around christmas to let everyone know what happened to the others throughout the year. We lovingly called it the “lie report”. Barely anything in it was true.

This morning I woke up early with the sun, and had a nice pour over single-origin coffee produced by the hamster army I keep under the floorboards

This is a wonderful idea

I am D.B. Cooper

If you want to fuck with their heads even more then here’s a tip: write out the truth of your inner mental workings.

It’s just My Immortal with all of the names replaced with people I know.