Sounds about right :P

  • FishFace@piefed.socialEnglish
    22·
    5 hours ago

    I have no idea what kind of answer that question would anticipate, but wouldn’t “bread eater” kind of be ideal? That is either one humourless fucker or this is confected!

    • exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      15·
      5 hours ago

      I could see something clever around bringing butter. Or bringing home the bacon for BLTs. Something that goes with bread.

      But the way the question is actually posed, “as a man,” etc., there’s no good answer because that dude sucks.

  • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexusEnglish
    51·
    7 hours ago

    This guy hasn’t realized yet that he is not required to be the “bread winner” at all to be a man, and maybe that answer made him realize that it is unfair for this system to expect that from him willy-nilly. Patriarchy harms all of us. (Edit: A Matriarchy based on the same values and role distributions would also be harmful, just to make sure to not be misunderstood. Both of these systems, if realized in this way, are not a good way to go about things.)

    • TaterTot@piefed.socialEnglish
      2·
      3 hours ago

      A Matriarchy based on the same values and role distributions would also be harmful

      The Patriarchy by any other name…

        • Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zonedeleted by creatorOPEnglish
          13·
          7 hours ago

          Hmm, nah. I still agree that patriarchy harms us all. Every single one. With that said…
          I’m totally down for a matriarchy. If it was built on the same values as our current patriarchy, sure, that would suck, but damn at least it’d give women a break for once. Idk, I’d totally be down to try it. I’m curious…

          • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexusEnglish
            15·
            7 hours ago

            There really must be a way to make things more equal without pressuring people so hard into gender roles. I for my part as a man have realized how much patriarchy made me suffer - i am not made for being reduced to “stoic,angry,horny” at all, and i also do not want to have all responsibility providing for a family in a financial sense, because i can’t cope with that, and also even if i could cope, it would disenfranchise my partner.

    • boonhet@lemmy.zipEnglish
      9·
      6 hours ago

      It’s the patriarchy, but this is also perpetrated by many women unfortunately. Men being bread winners is pretty widely seen as the default

      Actually expecting a relationship to have strict roles though, makes you a bit of an asshole

      • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexusEnglish
        6·
        5 hours ago

        Yeah, there are women out there that are completely comfortable with their spot, because it excuses them from taking responsibility. I can understand that somehow. If you were raised with the expectation that the hard and shitty parts of life as a salaryman are nothing you have to bother yourself with, and never were in the situation where these conditions threatened your safety or wellbeing because your partner is a fucking bastard (or in some cases even IF your partner is a full-blown fuckwad, thanks to the economical predicament you are now in), the proposition of completely taking charge of your own life might be a scary one, and this would cause them to argue for such a system.

        And we can’t forget that men are still raised mainly by women, who then implant the same ideas that lead to their predicament into their children. Depending on how you were raised, expecting strict gender roles doesn’t make you an asshole, but it is just an extension of the values imprinted on you (Thinking for yourself of course will modify that, but it won’t be able to erase all of it, especially in a society that perpetuates the same values)

        Emancipation starts with women teaching their children why the current way of doing things is bad.

      • architect@thelemmy.clubEnglish
        3·
        6 hours ago

        Men aren’t raised to do the things expected of a house. Mine cries about vacuuming “who vacuums this often! (Your mom did ffs)” Doesnt cook, cleans like shit, barely does the laundry but never puts it away.

        Meanwhile I work like a slave everyday while he plays video games. I am the breadwinner lol I am the bread maker entirely.

        So, there’s other problems with flipping the script. Now I want a woman!

        • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexusEnglish
          4·
          5 hours ago

          Yeah, how men are raised makes a whole lot of a difference. I am not immune to this, but i also acknowledge it.

          I have always been a messy guy (actually, in my 20s i would have qualified as a real messie, with only small paths allowing free movement in the apartment). With a lot of therapy i am now able to keep my living space in an acceptable condition (as in “random people can spontaneously come over and i dont have to drown in shame”), but while living with my siginificant other, i struggled a lot with the level of organization and cleanliness she expected (because she grew up in a pretty much upper class household, while i came from a home marred by low income and overwhelmed, inexperienced parents).

          For me and my psychiatric issues it was too much to be able to keep up. I really tried as hard as i could, but this really was outside of what i actually could achieve, and the harder i tried, the more i failed - not out of not wanting to do my part, but out of the desperation of knowing that could not keep that up the whole time. It actually caused me to be LESS helpful - the pressure paralyzed me. In many cases i did not even realize something was to be done, because it would have been fine by my standards.

          I worked hard on myself to keep the pace, but in the end all my issues (addiction, personality disorder, severe depression, chronic pain) weighted a lot on the relationship, and we separated. Actually, now that i am on my own, things work a lot more smoothly for me - i am in a cycle of “a bit messy” and “very clean” with a cycle time of about 2 weeks, and i am fine with that, but it would never have been for my ex. I am now much closer to something i can deal with long term tho, and that’s the most important thing for me personally.

          I always aspired towards a relationship where we shared the load, but sadly my capability to do so is not very pronounced. It’s one of the reasons why i do not seek to get into a new relationship at all, and i doubt this will ever change again. I am not made for long-term cohabitation. That’s valid, but also something that people have to realize for themselves in a world that places so much value on “settling down”.

  • brem@lemmy.worldEnglish
    99·
    8 hours ago

    Fellers that offer to be “the bread winner” usually end up providing nothing but yeast infections.