Because it gets drilled into most boy’s heads from a very young age that you are never to strike a girl, not even in self defense. Violence by women against men gets a pass to a degree that’s almost ridiculous, including sexual violence - though with sexual violence it’s baked into the systems and discussions around it to the point that I can actually find you quote from people involved with researching or dealing with sexual violence being pretty explicit about the double standard and treating it as obvious.
I don’t know if it’s a generational thing. I’m around my 40’s and I’ve always heard/interpreted it in that direction/sentiment.
I’m wondering about that too, since I’m around that same general age bracket and that was definitely the way it was instilled in boys in my community when I was growing up - You never hit a girl, under any circumstances. If she starts it, you stand there and take it or maybe try to walk away if you can but you absolutely do not retaliate.
That one’s fun when paired with the idea that you should resolve bullying by standing up to the bully when the bully is a girl and she’s throwing books at your head several times a week. No right answer. Ask me how I know. At least it stopped after a few weeks after I spent a week in the hospital for something unrelated - I think she got bored and moved on to another target while I was gone.
The problem is that people give the assaulting side more of a pass when it’s between men. The whole “boys will be boys/men can be rough with each other” mentality enables the violence at a systemic level.
Not just that, but many people believe that a man inherently can’t be a victim of a woman because men are statistically more likely to be the abuser (and those statistics aren’t super accurate because men under report for the reason you stated). Or because men are physically stronger.
There is significant overlap between those people, and the ones who think that all women are being raped when they have sex with a man, because patriarchy. It’s almost funny how sexist that belief is.
There is significant overlap between those people, and the ones who think that all women are being raped when they have sex with a man, because patriarchy
I don’t think the “women get raped when sex with man” camp is that strong today. Far more people, both men and women, are casually cruel to men and look down on them being vulnerable.
Also, why do people get into arguments over this to begin with? On the mens side specifically?
Like has it ever occured to them that maybe if you treat eachother right and with dignity that it won’t come to violence?
I get that people dissagree and even get a little grumpy at eachother sometimes, that’s human. But ffs, what are you 12?
Because it gets drilled into most boy’s heads from a very young age that you are never to strike a girl, not even in self defense. Violence by women against men gets a pass to a degree that’s almost ridiculous, including sexual violence - though with sexual violence it’s baked into the systems and discussions around it to the point that I can actually find you quote from people involved with researching or dealing with sexual violence being pretty explicit about the double standard and treating it as obvious.
That’s a lie, no boy ever gets told he can’t defend himself.
“You just don’t hit girls” is at face value a statement about offense only. But underlying it also translates to “just stand there and take it”.
I don’t know if it’s a generational thing. I’m around my 40’s and I’ve always heard/interpreted it in that direction/sentiment.
But again, I’m not even making a case on either side of that. The direction should be deescalation through meaningfull dialogue.
I’m wondering about that too, since I’m around that same general age bracket and that was definitely the way it was instilled in boys in my community when I was growing up - You never hit a girl, under any circumstances. If she starts it, you stand there and take it or maybe try to walk away if you can but you absolutely do not retaliate.
That one’s fun when paired with the idea that you should resolve bullying by standing up to the bully when the bully is a girl and she’s throwing books at your head several times a week. No right answer. Ask me how I know. At least it stopped after a few weeks after I spent a week in the hospital for something unrelated - I think she got bored and moved on to another target while I was gone.
If the assaulting side was reasonable this would work.
The problem is that people give the assaulting side more of a pass when it’s between men. The whole “boys will be boys/men can be rough with each other” mentality enables the violence at a systemic level.
They also tend to give it a pass when it’s woman on man battery. Same with rape.
Men can’t be vulnerable, which definitely fucks a lot of them up
Not just that, but many people believe that a man inherently can’t be a victim of a woman because men are statistically more likely to be the abuser (and those statistics aren’t super accurate because men under report for the reason you stated). Or because men are physically stronger.
There is significant overlap between those people, and the ones who think that all women are being raped when they have sex with a man, because patriarchy. It’s almost funny how sexist that belief is.
I don’t think the “women get raped when sex with man” camp is that strong today. Far more people, both men and women, are casually cruel to men and look down on them being vulnerable.