swipes suck cuz one judges people based on images and text, bars and partys suck because, cold approach feels so weird, and asking the one woman thats already feels somewhat close feels odd
Real talk though: the whole process fucking sucks.
People want to find someone, but there are bullshit societal conventions, it takes a shit load of courage and rejection, don’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable/feel harassed; and how do you even find a good match? If anything happens to my marriage, then I have no interest in jumping into this process. A friend has been going through this for years including a bad breakup recently after a short relationship… I got nothing to offer to make it better 🤷♂️
Edit: even worse when you meet someone who is good at this process. “Just act natural, take it easy. It’s about body language. You get a feel for who is interested and it’s just about being confident”… Ok, black magic, gotcha.
Talking to people at bars and parties is a skill you can get better at, though part of getting better at it is learning your way through the awkwardness that happens every time
bars just…
u know. serve alc, mostly.it feels like one weird place to go and like its the wrong place to look for… nice smart peeps and more loud party kinda peeps.
That’s fair, I’ve definitely found plenty of smart folks there, just drunk ones. But I’m also a bit of a party girl myself. Ok maybe more than a bit… Go to the sorts of place you suspect the folks you’re interested in meeting go to. But don’t discount the bars and parties, I’ve discussed more literature at gay bars than you’d think, and there’s a certain vibe to a bunch of drunk lesbians gushing over The Dispossessed
kinda unfortunately yeah.
swipes suck cuz one judges people based on images and text, bars and partys suck because, cold approach feels so weird, and asking the one woman thats already feels somewhat close feels odd
Real talk though: the whole process fucking sucks.
People want to find someone, but there are bullshit societal conventions, it takes a shit load of courage and rejection, don’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable/feel harassed; and how do you even find a good match? If anything happens to my marriage, then I have no interest in jumping into this process. A friend has been going through this for years including a bad breakup recently after a short relationship… I got nothing to offer to make it better 🤷♂️
Edit: even worse when you meet someone who is good at this process. “Just act natural, take it easy. It’s about body language. You get a feel for who is interested and it’s just about being confident”… Ok, black magic, gotcha.
Talking to people at bars and parties is a skill you can get better at, though part of getting better at it is learning your way through the awkwardness that happens every time
Yes. Also, pub quizzes are a thing. I’ve met half of my friends on different kinds of pub trivia things.
bars just… u know. serve alc, mostly.it feels like one weird place to go and like its the wrong place to look for… nice smart peeps and more loud party kinda peeps.
That’s fair, I’ve definitely found plenty of smart folks there, just drunk ones. But I’m also a bit of a party girl myself. Ok maybe more than a bit… Go to the sorts of place you suspect the folks you’re interested in meeting go to. But don’t discount the bars and parties, I’ve discussed more literature at gay bars than you’d think, and there’s a certain vibe to a bunch of drunk lesbians gushing over The Dispossessed