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Cop asks “where are you going?”
Point forward and say “this way”.
Do you know why I pulled you over?
Because you didn’t realize I have 3 cameras backed up remotely?
“wanna watch porn?” is another good one
“Name every policy”
don’t talk to cops
“I don’t answer questions.”
“It’s policy to not discuss ongoing legal matters”
Be sure to include the classic “I’m not driving, I’m traveling”. Works 100% of the time.
When in doubt, assure them that they, too, can learn all about this on the Internet.
I was not traveling I was conveying. Now give me the ball
“Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law”
“Your body?”
What are your intentions with my rights? 😂
“Don’t be a hero.” Fucking got me.
Not something you need to worry about, they won’t 😶🌫️
“Good cunternoon afstable” is a UK classic.
I would say at least 3 of these.
#2 is close to being spot-on actually.
If you get pulled over and the cop asks “Do you know why I pulled you over?”, it’s kind of a trick question.
You can’t say “Yes”, because that implies you knew you were breaking the law with intent. You can’t say “No” because that implies you weren’t paying attention. (Reckless driving)
Answer a question with a question: “Why did you pull me over, officer?” You aren’t giving out any information and you can’t actually explain someone else’s decision. It may get the cop a little miffed if his intention was to trap you in a generic one-way conversation.
If you aren’t comfortable with that, just don’t say anything. Politely refuse to answer any questions so you don’t incriminate yourself.
Edit: Go to a carwash after that as many cops will tag your car with a fingerprint as they walk up to your window from behind your car. I get why they do it, but its better just to clean it off anyway.
