I can soo see this happening to someone 😂

  • CombatWombat@feddit.onlineEnglish
    34·
    10 hours ago

    Realistically, a packet of ramen seasoning is approximately as helpful of birth control as a condom that has been in a wallet for nine years.

  • rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    73·
    15 hours ago

    Prob don’t use a 9 year old condom anyway. Without spermicides the latex will deteriorate after about 5 years. With spermicide solutions it will happen around 3 years. Being in a warm and often agitated wallet, this will probably happen sooner.

    You’ll end up with probably a gross funky dick rash and a gross funky baby.

    • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexusEnglish
      19·
      14 hours ago

      Yeah, if you buy a pack of condoms, store them in a dry and cool place. You can take one out and put it in the purse, but replace it after at least half a year from the safely stored stash to prevent gross funky babies and gross funky STDs.

      Edit: This goes doubly when you are in the US. The amount of multiresistant STDs in the US currently is mindblowingly high, don’t fuck around with that. And if you are in Russia, you are in HIV central anyways.

  • Asafum@lemmy.worldEnglish
    63·
    15 hours ago

    “sooo… Would you mind if we just did oral? Do you like chicken by the way?”

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    18·
    14 hours ago

    I always kept a bag of tea when I carried that kind of wallet. Just in case I needed a lil midday caffeine. One of my ‘friends’ at the time briefly stole my wallet and came back like OMG you have a–!–wait.

  • DonutsRMeh@lemmy.worldEnglish
    319·
    13 hours ago

    I know this is a meme, but there is something called pulling out. It seems not many know what the hell that is, and it blows my mind.

    • Trainguyrom@reddthat.comEnglish
      1·
      2 hours ago

      Precum usually contains some sperm cells, so no matter how good you are at pulling out its still risky as fuck. Also condoms greatly reduce the risk of catching STIs with new partners

      My wife has a good friend who was impregnated off of precum the first time she had sex. Fortunately he was a keeper and they wanted a kid so at least it all worked out in that regard

      • DonutsRMeh@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        2 hours ago

        I get that, but I’ve been doing it for 9 years (since my daughter was born) and we’ve been good. Can’t be just pure luck for 9 years. I get all the studies and all that, but those same studies say up 41% of men do have sperms in their precum, not 100%. Also, the gland that produces that liquid doesn’t produce sperms either.

    • Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zonedeleted by creatorOPEnglish
      401·
      13 hours ago

      Yes and it’s literally the least reliable contraceptive method. Please don’t even joke about recommending it to people trying to prevent pregnancy.