Spoiler: no versions of you actually suck, you just feel that way because you feel the difference in past you and current yous growth. They are both awesome. They’re both just in different stages of growth. Also, nobody thinks as harshly of you as you do yourself. So if they do meet you again and meet the new you, it’s just all bonus

I had a lot of security flaws and vulnerabilities that were patched over time. I can’t understand why people are still running such old versions of me - it’s grossly negligent.

Could be worse, what if they remember you being awesome but you suck now?

Yeah, and they were right. I was an asshole. I’ve worked hard to get better, but that doesn’t erase the damage that I caused. Part of me would like to reach out to them, but part of me know that still won’t make it right, even if I had a way to find them.

Well, old me was doing my best.

I try to think of it this way: if you wince a bit at the thought of past selves, it just means you’ve grown.

I don’t give a fuck. There’s a reason they don’t know this version of me. I didn’t care to maintain a relationship with them. My longest running friendship is >30 years, so those are choices.

They were assholes too, generally speaking.

yeah just ran into this texting an ex recently. we were together for almost 5 years, but i didnt learn i was neurodivergent or trans or kinda aro and very nonmonogamous until years after we broke up. ive been through years of therapy and self discovery at this point and shes still operating on memories of a maladjusted egg doing her best man impression (badly) and being kind of shitty about it.

i made an offhand comment that triggered some of the trauma i left her with, which made her type a long text reminding me of how i was shitty to her. it was kind of surreal because it was based on what i know now to be really shitty and toxic assumptions about my motivations and intentions, and the person who did those things to her is dead at this point.

i thought i would feel bad but i just kind of felt sad that shes still carrying that stuff around with her… not that ive put down all the baggage she left me with but still, it seemed almost fresh to her even after all these years.

I served a mission for the LDS Church and had some success – my mission didn’t have a lot of baptisms, but I managed a few. I left the religion about a year after I got back, and I’m not particularly proud of who I was when I was a member. I think a lot about the people who converted because of the things that I said to them, and whether they’d be better or happier people had I chosen not to go.

The commit tree diverges :/

But then it’s fun getting back in contact and being proud of who you are now. But yes I also cringe how I used to be, just a shell of a person that’s not really alive. I’m grateful I’m not like that anymore.

I owe some people some apologies. Sorry Dan. I was wrong. I was acting far too immature. That time of my life really brought out the worst of me. It’s for the best we lost touch but I’m sorry for how I was.

omg lmao i think about this sometimes, most ppl from college haven’t seen me after graduation, and i haven’t seen any of them in ages, and now i am a pretty cheery queer dude, when i used to be a withdrawn and kind of emo/weird chick 💀

thankfully everyone i actively associate with is aware, but if i think about anyone i haven’t kept in touch with… 💀💀💀

and don’t even get me started on high school