It always fucks me up. In general being remembered does, I wish I could just erase all memories of me and influence I ever had out of existence. The fact that at some point I’ll be completely 100% forgotten is soothing.

There’s a guy I used to work with 20 years ago. We got on alright, but then something changed and he really took against me. I’ve no idea why, or what happened. I guess I said or did something that pissed him off, and he didn’t feel like he wanted to tell me what. But it got to the point where he was kinda violent towards me, so I just kept my distance, then left the company (for reasons unrelated to this).

He later went on to work with some of the guys who work at my current place, who I get on really well with. Anyway, we were talking about people in the industry we’ve known over the years, as you do, and it comes up that they know him.

One of the guys bumped into him at a party a little while later, and mentioned that he was working with me now, to which he was told “Oh. Is DJDarren still a fucking prick?”

And I honestly have no idea what I did wrong.

I later discovered that I’m ADHD as fuck, so I guess it’s something to do with that.

I used to have chronic pain+fatigue for 17 years. Did not want to participate in anything, because it just meant more pain and less spoons, and the majority of people remember me that way.

I’m still working out how to live life normally, like I’m kind of doing my teenage years now, exploring my surroundings and trying out things.
So, I’m not yet a fully different person, but even just me voluntarily doing things, sports, etc. really does not compute for people who still know me from back then.

I had a lot of security flaws and vulnerabilities that were patched over time. I can’t understand why people are still running such old versions of me - it’s grossly negligent.

Could be worse, what if they remember you being awesome but you suck now?

Totally not a factor in why I left my home country.

Yeah, and they were right. I was an asshole. I’ve worked hard to get better, but that doesn’t erase the damage that I caused. Part of me would like to reach out to them, but part of me know that still won’t make it right, even if I had a way to find them.

Spoiler: no versions of you actually suck, you just feel that way because you feel the difference in past you and current yous growth. They are both awesome. They’re both just in different stages of growth. Also, nobody thinks as harshly of you as you do yourself. So if they do meet you again and meet the new you, it’s just all bonus

I try to think of it this way: if you wince a bit at the thought of past selves, it just means you’ve grown.

Well, old me was doing my best.

The commit tree diverges :/

yeah just ran into this texting an ex recently. we were together for almost 5 years, but i didnt learn i was neurodivergent or trans or kinda aro and very nonmonogamous until years after we broke up. ive been through years of therapy and self discovery at this point and shes still operating on memories of a maladjusted egg doing her best man impression (badly) and being kind of shitty about it.

i made an offhand comment that triggered some of the trauma i left her with, which made her type a long text reminding me of how i was shitty to her. it was kind of surreal because it was based on what i know now to be really shitty and toxic assumptions about my motivations and intentions, and the person who did those things to her is dead at this point.

i thought i would feel bad but i just kind of felt sad that shes still carrying that stuff around with her… not that ive put down all the baggage she left me with but still, it seemed almost fresh to her even after all these years.

I served a mission for the LDS Church and had some success – my mission didn’t have a lot of baptisms, but I managed a few. I left the religion about a year after I got back, and I’m not particularly proud of who I was when I was a member. I think a lot about the people who converted because of the things that I said to them, and whether they’d be better or happier people had I chosen not to go.

They were assholes too, generally speaking.

I don’t give a fuck. There’s a reason they don’t know this version of me. I didn’t care to maintain a relationship with them. My longest running friendship is >30 years, so those are choices.